Herm

I'm so depressed I can't even think straight... I just keep pacing and staring blankly at everything. I don't hear people when they talk Its all I can do to keep from bursting into tears at any moment. I don't want to be around people but I can't stand being alone. I don't want to be here I don't want you to be there and I don't want to be me. I am swimming in self hate and I can't kick it because they seem like valid reasons to me. I feel like everyone else hates me and no one wants to be around me. I feel so insecure and alone and I feel like there are certain people who would have been lucky to have never have met me. I don't feel like there's anything I can do to fix things and I just want to give up. All I ever want to do is ignore the world am sleep because that's pretty much what it does to me. I want my warm bed
And no more nightmares. I Don't want to wake up tomorrow. I am stressed frustrated lonely and losing my fucking mind. I don't know what to say or do anymore I don't want to hurt people anymore I've screwed everything up... Well, time for pancakes.

If you have something to say to me just fucking say it, I am sick of the games.

Okay, I Give.

I give up on writing. I suck at it. I quit. Writing class is over tomorrow... I will miss it, not the part where I write of course, but the part where I get to listen to others writing.

For You A Thousand Times Over...

Not sure how to feel about this... Feels so different, I was just getting used to things and now everything changed again. I have always hated change. Change has never brought anything good to my life. Why is it that I can never stand up for myself? I feel that I am constantly looking up at people no matter what and I can't change it. Will I forever feel like a silenced child?

Insert appealing title here

I got a fortune cookie today that says to love is to forgive but is it possible that I have loved you too much for too long and forgiven you one too many times?